Being Enough

Do you ever get tired of hearing about how important it is to believe in yourself? How limiting beliefs are holding you back?  How in order to succeed you must change your beliefs about yourself? These statements are all true of course, but sometimes I have noticed with my clients, myself and people interested in personal and spiritual growth in general, that there is a tendency to feel we are always striving and never arriving. We aren’t quite enough.

It is important to remember that you are already complete and whole right now in this moment.

There is an underlying idea in the personal growth arena that we don’t have everything we want because we aren’t quite “there” yet.  You aren’t pretty enough, spiritual enough, evolved enough, aware enough, etc. You don’t have enough money or the mate you long for or the job that fulfills your purpose because you aren’t quite enlightened “enough.”  All you have to do is look around you to notice that there are plenty of people who have lots of money that aren’t very enlightened.  There are plenty who have great relationships that aren’t completely self-aware.  There are lots of people doing satisfying work that still have their own issues to work out.  In other words, as humans, we aren’t perfect.  Even more than that, we never “arrive”.

As soon as we work out one issue, another one pops up for us to deal with. You may get a job that fulfills your purpose, brings you great money, and allows you to express our authentic self, and suddenly find yourself laid off due to an economic downturn.  Does this mean you aren’t enlightened? Could it mean you had a bad thought that created it?  Perhaps it means you need more growth before you can manifest good again?  Definitely not! This is another example of our ego working overtime when we are feeling vulnerable.  I say (or rather John Lennon said), “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

When you can fully embrace your Spirit you will realize that you are whole and complete right NOW!

We need to stop letting our ego, or as I call it, our pigeon self, put us down for all the circumstances that happen in our life, and fully embrace our Authentic Spirit.    You do not need to strive so hard because you are already that which you strive so hard to be.  All you need do is be willing to drop the false ego and embrace your authenticity. The more time you spend connecting to your Authentic Spirit, the easier it will be to take that realization of being enough back into your daily life, back into the polarity of the ups and downs, the disappointments as well as the joys of living.

Self-Trust: Staying True to Your Own Voice

Finding Self-Trust

How do we learn to trust ourselves more? Do you get gobbled up by everyone else’s opinions, beliefs, ideas, and expectations? Do you find yourself losing confidence in your own voice, your own purpose by comparing yourself to others goals and accomplishments? What does self-trust mean?

Deepak Chopra uses a term he calls Self-referral instead of self-trust. 

Being solid in your own beliefs instead of relying on others to gauge your own choices and beliefs.  Here is his description from his website:

Self-referral is identifying with your inner self – the unchanging essence of your soul. In this state, you have an internal sense of joy regardless of what is happening around you because you aren’t identified with transient objects or events. In self-referral, you experience your true being, which doesn’t fear any challenge, has respect for all people and feels beneath no one. Fear drops away and there is no compulsion to control and no struggle for approval or external power. As you experience self-referral, you pierce the mask of illusion that creates separation and fragmentation and know that you are an inextricable part of the field of infinite intelligence.

-Deepak Chopra 

To personalize this statement, think about a time when you have felt intimidated or overwhelmed when comparing yourself to others. With the flood of information, we now have access to on the Internet, it’s easy to fall into discouragement just looking at the amount of information out there. It sometimes appears almost everyone on the planet is a Coach and EFT practitioner!  Our OBJECT REFERRING ego is always looking to compare and rank us in relationship to everyone else.  It is impossible to not find someone else who is better, more experienced, or better at marketing themselves. This can really erode our confidence and self-trust. It can mask that true authentic voice with confusion and discouragement.

Embrace Your Uniqueness

To be effective in our own work, we need to stop comparing ourselves to the experiences, truths, and accomplishments of others.  It’s important to keep focusing on your own unique purpose, skills. You have your own unique ways of presenting them to the world. Don’t let your inner critic of comparison convince you that you must follow someone else’s path to success.  Following a proven path can be good, but only if you are aligned with it and it feels true for you also.

Shhhh! Secret Tapping Points

Have You Started Using EFT Tapping Yet?

OK, let’s say you have gotten over the fact that tapping looks “silly” and discovered the wonderful array of benefits you can receive. Now the problem is, you are sitting at the dentist’s office about ready to have a filling. You are feeling a bit nervous about the drill. Therefore, you really want to tap on the anxiousness because you know it will work!  So what do you do? Do you run into the restroom? Do you pretend you left something in the car and run outside to tap?

Most of all, I am a firm believer in using tapping in everyday situations. In the very same dentist chair described above, I had a client text me that she was waiting for oral surgery and using it to reduce her nervousness.  After it was over she reported that she was relieved and happy. It really helped calm her!

Consequently, I felt a need to let everyone in on the Secret Tapping Points! There are many meridian points that can be used effectively for tapping. I have created a very short demonstration video that shows you simple and effective points that you can use to tap ANYWHERE! In the Doctor’s office, at work, in the classroom, even driving (be sure to use caution and always keep one hand on the wheel!).  The original protocol developed by Gary Craig used these points that are quite effective in reducing stress, anger, nervousness, etc. in the moment without feeling like others are looking at you.

EFT Tapping: 5 Real Life Success Stories

If you have been following this series of articles on EFT, hopefully, you have been encouraged to try it for yourself. Or perhaps you already are using this self-help tool, and have gained insight into some new ways of using it in your life.

The best way to finish up this series of articles is to give you some good examples of people who have actually made significant change in their lives through the use of tapping.

I have worked with many clients over the years, but I would like to share just a few stories that will give you a good sense of what can happen if you leave just a small space open for possibilities. I have found that creating a safe space for exploration and then approaching each situation without expectation of what might happen, many times you will be amazed by the results.

Our pre-conceived beliefs and judgments are sometimes our biggest hindrance to change. Being open to new ideas and results is the first step in realizing them. Tapping is a great tool for not only working on problems and symptoms but on the beliefs we hold around those problems or symptoms.

Here are some examples of real-life people who have moved forward using EFT:

1. She lived with a fear of leaving her house:

About 10 years ago, a client came to me as a referral from her sister who was my client also. She suffered from agoraphobia, which caused her to get very anxious when she left her house. She had a fear of not only unfamiliar environments but even felt anxious at her sister’s house.

We worked together for three sessions over a couple months doing EFT along with some coaching, and she was able to manage her anxiety and reduce her panic attacks until she actually became able to go places without fear. I recently re-connected with her sister to do some coaching again, and I asked how Claire was doing now. She said she is able to go places and remain calm. If she does feel any anxiety begin to rise up, she taps it away and is able to manage it.

2. She experienced anxiety whenever she smelled cigar smoke:

I had another client several years ago named Marie who always had a panic attack whenever she would even just walk by someone on the street smoking a cigar. She knew it was related to her traumatic experiences as a child where she was the victim of child abuse and her perpetrator was a cigar smoker. Although she had been through therapy and had healed much of her trauma, the cigar smoke association continued to stick.

I had another client several years ago named Marie who always had a panic attack whenever she would even just walk by someone on the street smoking a cigar. She knew it was related to her traumatic experiences as a child where she was the victim of child abuse and her perpetrator was a cigar smoker. Although she had been through therapy and had healed much of her trauma, the cigar smoke association continued to stick.

After several sessions of EFT, she was feeling confident that she had eliminated this problem. She happened to take her car in for some repair work and the person who worked on it happened to be smoking a cigar. She was amazed how she had no reaction—no shortness of breath, no feelings of panic that she had previously experienced. Marie has also recently re-hired me to do some business coaching, and I asked her about the cigar smoke. She said, “Nope not an issue anymore at all.”

So if you feel stuck in old outdated patterns or beliefs, or just want to move ahead with less struggle and more ease, give this self-help tool a try. There are absolutely no side effects and nothing to lose.

3. A woman with Chronic back pain:

A woman attended a class of mine one evening and she was skeptical of the process but came to check it out. She had a pain that bugged her that ran down her right hip and leg. It had been going on for several weeks. She had been to the chiropractor, etc. but it hadn’t budged. We did several rounds of tapping in the class. She was pretty self-aware and when we explored the emotion related to this pain, the anger she was holding around her boyfriend came up. We did some tapping on this anger and when we were finished the leg pain was gone. I know to the logical mind the two seem unrelated, but the results were dramatic! In a follow-up months later, that pain has never returned.

4. She wanted to stop smoking:

A young woman came to me who had been smoking for 10 years and really wanted to be smoke-free. We did a combination of EFT and some hypnosis and she was able to stop after just 3 sessions and has been smoke-free for over 10 years. The EFT not only helped with reducing the nicotine cravings, but it calmed her anxiety, which was part of the reason she began smoking.

5. A businessperson who procrastinated sales calls:

I had a client who owned her own business and was quite successful, but she hated the way she procrastinated every time she sat down to call prospects. She would get very nervous and visualize them rejecting and getting mad at her. She would do just about anything to avoid making these calls that were vital to her business growth. After learning EFT, she was able to quickly do a few rounds each time she had to do her calls. It helped calm her down and dissipate the negative charges to where she could be more relaxed and neutral and much more effective.

EFT Tapping: 5 Reasons People Don’t Use It

Last time I wrote about the 5 reasons people should learn EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Tapping. This is a simple self-help technique that can be easily learned and used by anyone. However, the majority of people who learn about this technique will never try it, let alone use it regularly.

Over the years these are the top 5 things I have heard from people as to why they don’t use this technique:

1. The idea seems too weird

Probably the biggest reason people don’t use EFT is that it seems a bit weird to them. They don’t see the connection between tapping on certain points and feeling better. Maybe the eastern philosophies of energy meridians are just too foreign for some people to embrace, or even if they are willing to believe in the concept, they have a hard time making the connection when they actually do it. Our minds will automatically reject things that fall outside our belief system.

2. It feels too silly

Somewhat like the above answer, but just slightly different is the feeling that this tapping on your face is silly. Going to an acupuncturist, lying on a table and having someone insert tiny needles into our skin feels a little more “clinical” and therefore more acceptable. But sitting in the living room tapping on our face seems silly and pretty foreign to our thinking about healing.

Another aspect of this is the fact that although we can use it on many things, it seems impractical to do in public and makes us feel even more self-conscious. That is why I created the video on Secret Tapping Points showing places you can use in public. These are good practical ways to use tapping while at work or driving, or anywhere that others are present without having to explain what you are doing.

3. It’s hard to remember to use it

Believe it or not this is a common problem. Even I, who have been using this technique clinically for all these years, sometimes forget to use it on myself! It is not a natural reaction to start tapping when something happens. It takes a while to create a habit of using this wonderful tool.

4. They don’t know what to say

When EFT is new for people, they think the words they say have to be perfect in order for EFT to work. In reality, the words are there to connect them to the feelings, so the feelings can be unblocked or cleared. As long as they are concentrating on the feelings they have, they can express them in any way. I often recommend using a conversational tone, like you are talking to a friend, or sometimes even “ranting” to yourself!

5. They expect a one-hit wonder

Some people give up on EFT too soon because they expect a magical instant result. They think EFT is a magic bullet, and it should instantly clear out feelings and old patterns. Although it has done this for people, the truth is that more likely it will be a process and may require consistent effort or even work with a practitioner. I Compare it to taking an aspirin. I’ve never heard someone say about an aspirin, “Oh yes, I tried that once but it didn’t work for me.” Nothing works on everything all the time.

EFT is a wonderful self-help tool that can be used in many situations to help improve people’s performance, attitude, and even physical symptoms. It is worth the time it takes to fully investigate this tool and to spend time with an experienced practitioner to really learn how to use it. Then it is a matter of being patient and creating new habits that will give you a lifelong practical and efficient tool for self-help. When all else fails, you can “tap” on your resistance to using what is right there in front of you.

EFT Tapping: 5 Reasons To Learn It Now

I was first introduced to EFT Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique) 15 years ago when almost no one had heard of this funny mind/body technique. I always prided myself on being pretty open to new ideas, but when a friend told me to try this on a problem I was having, it seemed ridiculous and laughable. She walked me through this simple but weird process of tapping on different points along my face and torso while stating my issue. To my surprise, I felt better!

Since that day in 2000, I have come a long way and so has the western world in learning more about the mind/body connection and embracing the healing properties of many of the eastern traditions involving energy meridians, including Emotional Freedom Technique.

I began using this technique with clients in my coaching practice, who luckily had learned to trust me and were open to trying my “weird” suggestion. EFT involves using your fingertips to gently tap on certain energy meridians on your body while focusing on an emotional issue you are having. It is sometimes called acupuncture for the emotions without needles.

I explain to people there are two levels to EFT. The basic level, and a good place to start as a self-help tool, is to try it on symptoms you may have such as a headache or stress, or upset. The second level down is its effectiveness on old belief patterns or emotional traumas. For this level of work, you may want to consult a practitioner.

I have watched people, even people who didn’t have any belief in this process, go from being “stuck” or fearful, or resistant or angry to finding much more ease and flow in accomplishing their goals and in living a more peaceful life.

Here are my 5 top reasons why you should learn to use EFT in your life:

1. It’s easy and fast to learn and use on your own

It is a very simple technique that you can learn to use yourself in less than 5 minutes. You may use it to clear out everything from minor procrastination to real fears and phobias. Again, for some of the trickier things you may want to get the help of a practitioner to guide you through, but many things you can do on your own. It’s especially good for things like calming stress or anxiety, and eliminating a headache you feel coming on.

2. It can be used with no risk or side effects

I would never recommend EFT to replace any drugs or doctor recommended therapies, but it is certainly a good additional supplement to try with nothing to lose. If you have chronic pain or high blood pressure, or any other physical symptoms, it’s worth giving EFT a try. Through studying the Body/Mind connection it has been shown that many of our physical based problems have emotional roots. Working with EFT to clear out emotional blocks can do wonders to relieve a lot of physical symptoms. What do you have to lose?

3. You can try it on a huge variety of things

EFT has such a huge range of success in many areas of life. In my experience with clients, and myself it has helped people: get rid of headaches, reduce back and other chronic pain, eliminate the procrastination for making sales calls and other fears of rejection, eliminated phobias, reduced food cravings, helped people quit smoking, helped them greatly reduce anxiety and stress-related issues, and helped them improve confidence and self-esteem. The list goes on. So it’s worth trying on anything that comes up.

4. It can be done anytime and every day

You can use EFT in the moment wherever you are, whether it is to reduce anxiety or stress when you are late for an appointment, reduce the craving for a cigarette or food, get calmed down after a call with an angry customer. You get the idea. It is a great tool for everyday use.

5. It has a beautiful spiritual component of self-acceptance

Less talked about, but to me, the best aspect of EFT is the ability to help people integrate self-forgiveness and self-acceptance. I have worked with many clients over the years on self-esteem issues—around being enough, feeling worthy, and accepting themselves as the beautiful Spirit they are. EFT has built into it a system for clearing out negative energetic patterns and reconnecting people to their Authentic Spirit, the truth of who they are. To me, this is the biggest gift of EFT. If you work with a practitioner who understands and uses this technique as it was originally intended, then you will get deep healing results from this process.