What Is The Color Of Your Thoughts?

I was driving down a wide and beautiful palm-tree lined boulevard last week going a consistent 45 mph and hitting every signal green–sailing along smoothly towards my destination. It reminded me of the old saying, “If you wait for all the lights to be green before you begin your journey, you will never start.” Where are you having trouble getting started? What if you had the power to set the meters so you could consistently sail through green?

I began to realize our thoughts are like traffic signals in our minds and they either let us sail along smoothly, stop us in our tracks, or keep us idling in neutral?

Let’s take a look at how noticing the color of our thoughts can help us sail more smoothly down the road of life.

Imagine that the constant dialogue you have running through your head was suddenly given a color. I’ve observed that people have three different types of head chatter, just like the signals on the road.  These either help them on their journey or get in the way. Begin to observe your own thoughts and begin to notice what color you are in most of the time.

Green Thoughts

These are the positive and empowering thoughts that say “go”! They inspire us, move us ahead, get us to take risks, try new things, and move us out of our comfort zones. They give us a positive spin on ourselves and our circumstances, our lives and our world. When your thoughts are green you are comfortable with yourself and your world so you can, therefore, be “other” oriented and contribute the most to those around you.

The highest achievers are “Green Thinkers”. They see a clear road ahead, and if an obstacle appears they immediately begin to look for ways over around or through it. They react creatively within the moment in any situation.

Interestingly enough, green is the color of our heart chakra (an Eastern name for the energy centers in the body), and many “Green Thinkers” are heart-based, coming from a frame of reference of Love instead of Fear in all areas of their lives.

Red Thoughts 

These are thoughts that can stop us right in our tracks. They can keep us stuck in one place, angry, terrified, impatient, wanting to move, but not knowing how. These thoughts always hold a worst-case scenario or doom and gloom viewpoint. Fear dominates and creativity shrivels. Someone in Red Thinking can look at a clear road ahead and begin to immediately fill it with blocks and barriers. Because we lack confidence when we have these thoughts we cannot contribute and are pulled back into a “me” orientation where survival instincts dominate.

All of us spend some time with Red Thoughts, and sometimes we need them to balance our lives and help us know where we are going next. But too many people live in Red Thoughts most of the time which keep them from reaching their own potential and blocks their happiness. Red is the color of our base or root chakra and is predominantly Fear-based. Survival instincts rule our thinking.

Yellow Thoughts 

These are our neutral thoughts. As humans, we don’t stay here very long. These are non-judging, centering thoughts. They allow us to just be, to sit, to meditate, and to be completely free of any story–green or red. They are the place to re-energize, to re-center, or to move from red to green. Sometimes these are known as “observer” thoughts –this is where we can begin to observe the chatter and dialogue that is always running in our head. Yellow Thoughts allow us to pull above and look from a higher plane. This is an important place to work towards because the more you spend time here, the more you will find yourself better equipped to notice when you are in Red Thinking and to better choose to be in Green Thinking.

The color yellow is associated with the center chakra, located in your solar plexus, or gut and is often a place to connect with your authentic self, your personal power center.

Choosing The Color Of Your Lens 

Let’s return to the traffic signal analogy. Let’s say for a minute you get to be in charge of the metering system that sets the lights! You get to choose when they flash from red to yellow to green. What if you could decide how to color your life? What mix of colors would you want at any one time?
Begin to practice these three easy steps to learn how to color your world in the way you want!

  1. Start to notice the color of your thoughts.
  2. Be aware at any given moment which colors you are creating–you may need to learn to run some red lights at first!
  3. Practice changing the lens–move from red to yellow, then yellow to green.

Positive Affirmations: 3 Reasons Why They Don’t Work

All your life you have been hearing about positive affirmations and the power of positive thinking. Maybe you have even posted phrases on your refrigerator or mirror that say, “I am super rich.” or “I attract only positive people into my life.” But then, when you look around your one bedroom apartment and realize you are having trouble keeping up with the rent and your boss at work is anything but positive, that gap creates even more frustration, guilt, and feelings of failure.  You try to stay positive, to believe it’s coming “someday”, but in the meantime, your life feels stuck and out of touch with your beliefs.

I have been working with affirmations and the power of intention for over thirty years and I can certainly relate to that scenario above. Does that mean we should all just give up on intentions? Should we just throw out the positive and become Debbie Downer? Of course not! There is plenty of evidence that positive affirmations work. The big question most of us have is: Why isn’t it working for me right now in this situation?

Three Common Mistakes:

In working with clients and myself on this over the years, I have identified some of the common problems with affirmations and positive thinking that make them appear to not work. Here are the top three common mistakes:

Your beliefs won’t let you be wrong.

Your subconscious beliefs, the stories you have developed about who you are, and the unique perspectives that you have held all your life are what REALLY rule your reality. In fact, your subconscious will do just about anything to make sure what you believe is validated to you in the world. It’s a mechanism we have for staying sane, but it can also work against us.

For example, if you believe that life is a struggle, that in your family no one was lucky or that everyone but you seems to be successful, then you can read an affirmation every day about getting rich and your subconscious reacts with “Right! Everyone but you that is!” You will self-sabotage in ways you won’t even notice and the minute anything negative happens your subconscious mind will spring back to you with, “See I’m right.”

You are disconnected from your Authentic Self.

Sometimes you think you want something that is really incongruent with what you truly want. You think you want to be rich or famous, but deep down your Authentic Spirit is much more interested in freedom of time or meaningful relationships or a simple life.  When your personal values conflict with what you are asking for, your actual life choices might be reflecting something different than your affirmation.

Your Positive Affirmations are based outside of yourself.

An affirmation must be about you, not about the world “out there”. You only have control over yourself. You can change your own beliefs, your own behaviors, your own perspective about what happens and then, in turn, this will be reflected by your external reality.

There is hope!

Don’t despair if you have been feeling discouraged about your positive affirmations. Take inventory of your own beliefs and see where you might fit into these categories. In the next blog, we will spend some time on quick remedies to these common mistakes and how the process of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a great process for correcting and locking in more positive and believable statements that can change your frustration into hope and encouragement.

Beyond Setting Goals: 6 Reasons Your Resolutions Aren’t Working

So here it is a month out from all those New Years Resolutions! How are we doing with those goals? I spend a lot of time with people on creating intentions and reaching for their goals. After all, isn’t that one of the main reasons people hire a coach—to support them in getting to the next level in whatever it is they are doing in their life, their business or their career? Absolutely! It really helps to have someone on your team that isn’t going to judge you. But there is so much more to this story than just creating some goals and making them happen. Here are a few things I’ve observed over the years that get in the way of achieving what you want:

Fears, Blocks, or Outdated Beliefs Are Standing In The Way

We all know about this one. Fear of change, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unknown—these are but a few of the things that feed our inner- critic and keep us from getting unstuck. These fears need to be identified and cleared in order begin to move forward. Becoming more aware of what these old beliefs are is the first step. You can’t change anything until you become conscious of what it is. Then you can question these old beliefs and also use wonderful tools like EFT Tapping to clear them away.

Goals Are Set By Your Inner Critic Rather Than Your Authentic Self

This is a huge one. This is what I find for a lot of my clients. For example, they come to me with a goal to reach a particular level in their business. As we begin to work through what is in their way—the fears, the inner critic, etc. and then begin also to create a vision of what they want, identifying their values and what is fulfilling for them—it becomes apparent that there is a conflict between the goal and what is important to them.

Many times we set goals based on what other people think we should do, or on what success “should” look like, and then find the process of working towards that goal to be filled with unrest and conflict.

Sometimes our inner-critic is doing the goal setting. Becoming more familiar with your authentic self you can learn to align your goals with what is truly important to you, not your spouse, your parents, the culture, etc. We take in other people’s expectations as to what we should be and want, and sometimes forget what’s true for us.

Frequently people who have gone into business for themselves find their inner critic really running the show. They left corporate jobs because they wanted more freedom or flexibility only to find their inner-critic is worse than any boss they ever worked for.

Goals Are Unclear

Perhaps you haven’t taken the time to really define what it is you want, write it down, or create a plan to get there. Most people don’t know as much about what they truly want things to be like as they do about what they don’t want. How do you get where you are going when you don’t have a good picture of “there”? These goals are more like “wishes” that live in your head with “someday maybe” attached to them. Always somewhere in the future when something else is taken care of first.

Goals Are Too Big Or Too Small

Maybe your goals are unrealistic. Even you yourself don’t remotely believe you could get them. You can say affirmations daily that you’d like to be independently wealthy, but if you really don’t see yourself being capable of achieving that, and it’s too overwhelming to break down into a plan, then it probably isn’t going to happen. Conversely, if you have a goal so small it doesn’t inspire or stretch you at all, then it won’t hold any energy and will quickly be forgotten.

Priorities Changed and You Didn’t Notice

Sometimes this means your priorities have really shifted from what you initially thought was a top priority. That goal has now become secondary. We sometimes stick to old goals because we are used to them. Maybe we keep setting a goal to be the #1 salesman, but have forgotten that we are actually a couple of years from retirement and being number one isn’t really as important as it once was. That’s great to realize! What’s important is consciously knowing that is what’s happened so you can make different choices without guilt or feelings of failure.

Life Gets In The Way

In this scenario, you aren’t doing what you set out to do because you are letting day-to-day stuff interfere. There could be lots of reasons for this, but basically, you have that nagging feeling of guilt and failure and frustration because the choices you are making are more unconscious than conscious and aren’t aligned with your priorities.

Take Another Look

So take another look at those New Years Resolutions that you haven’t been keeping up with. Run them through the list above and see if it strikes a cord. Consider the option of hiring a coach. It’s a wonderful way to help you create a structure, a support system, and get feedback and accountability that will help you reach those important goals for 2018. One of the biggest gifts of coaching is clarity. With clarity, you can begin to really know when you are working on the right things. And with clarity comes a sense of peace about what you are doing and the ability to truly enjoy the journey along the way!

Being Enough

Do you ever get tired of hearing about how important it is to believe in yourself? How limiting beliefs are holding you back?  How in order to succeed you must change your beliefs about yourself? These statements are all true of course, but sometimes I have noticed with my clients, myself and people interested in personal and spiritual growth in general, that there is a tendency to feel we are always striving and never arriving. We aren’t quite enough.

It is important to remember that you are already complete and whole right now in this moment.

There is an underlying idea in the personal growth arena that we don’t have everything we want because we aren’t quite “there” yet.  You aren’t pretty enough, spiritual enough, evolved enough, aware enough, etc. You don’t have enough money or the mate you long for or the job that fulfills your purpose because you aren’t quite enlightened “enough.”  All you have to do is look around you to notice that there are plenty of people who have lots of money that aren’t very enlightened.  There are plenty who have great relationships that aren’t completely self-aware.  There are lots of people doing satisfying work that still have their own issues to work out.  In other words, as humans, we aren’t perfect.  Even more than that, we never “arrive”.

As soon as we work out one issue, another one pops up for us to deal with. You may get a job that fulfills your purpose, brings you great money, and allows you to express our authentic self, and suddenly find yourself laid off due to an economic downturn.  Does this mean you aren’t enlightened? Could it mean you had a bad thought that created it?  Perhaps it means you need more growth before you can manifest good again?  Definitely not! This is another example of our ego working overtime when we are feeling vulnerable.  I say (or rather John Lennon said), “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

When you can fully embrace your Spirit you will realize that you are whole and complete right NOW!

We need to stop letting our ego, or as I call it, our pigeon self, put us down for all the circumstances that happen in our life, and fully embrace our Authentic Spirit.    You do not need to strive so hard because you are already that which you strive so hard to be.  All you need do is be willing to drop the false ego and embrace your authenticity. The more time you spend connecting to your Authentic Spirit, the easier it will be to take that realization of being enough back into your daily life, back into the polarity of the ups and downs, the disappointments as well as the joys of living.

Self-Trust: Staying True to Your Own Voice

Finding Self-Trust

How do we learn to trust ourselves more? Do you get gobbled up by everyone else’s opinions, beliefs, ideas and expectations? Do you find yourself losing confidence in our own voice, our own purpose by comparing ourselves to others goals and accomplishments? What does self-trust mean?

Deepak Chopra uses a term he calls Self-referral instead of self-trust. 

Being solid in your own beliefs instead of relying on others to gauge your own choices and beliefs.  Here is his description from his website:

Self-referral is identifying with your inner self – the unchanging essence of your soul. In this state, you have an internal sense of joy regardless of what is happening around you because you aren’t identified with transient objects or events. In self-referral, you experience your true being, which doesn’t fear any challenge, has respect for all people and feels beneath no one. Fear drops away and there is no compulsion to control and no struggle for approval or external power. As you experience self-referral, you pierce the mask of illusion that creates separation and fragmentation and know that you are an inextricable part of the field of infinite intelligence.

-Deepak Chopra 

To personalize this statement, think about a time when you have felt intimidated or overwhelmed when comparing yourself to others. With the flood of information we now have access to on the Internet, it’s easy to fall into discouragement just looking at the amount of information out there. It sometimes appears almost everyone on the planet is a Coach and EFT practitioner!  Our OBJECT REFERRING ego is always looking to compare and rank us in relationship to everyone else.  It is impossible to not find someone else who is better, more experienced, or better at marketing themselves. This can really erode our confidence and self-trust. It can mask that true authentic voice with confusion and discouragement.

Embrace Your Uniqueness

To be effective in our own work, we need to stop comparing ourselves to the experiences, truths, and accomplishments of others.  It’s important to keep focusing on your own unique purpose, skills. You have your own unique ways of presenting them to the world. Don’t let your inner critic of comparison convince you that you must follow someone else’s path to success.  Following a proven path can be good, but only if you are aligned with it and it feels true for you also.