In the first blog of this series, Positive Affirmations: Why They Don’t Work! I talked about the three most common mistakes I have seen over the years in creating positive affirmations. This article is to take you one step further into how you can overcome these barriers and make affirmations work for you in a more consistent manner.
Here are the 3 Secrets to Making Positive Affirmations work for you:
Notice your negative gut reactions and underlying self-talk.
As I said in the previous blog, your subconscious won’t let you be wrong. So the trick is to really identify those subconscious beliefs so you can begin to change them. The best way to identify these is to listen to your negative self talk and pay attention to your gut reaction.
For example, if you have a positive affirmation that says, “I am rich beyond my wildest dreams”, and every time you say that, you hear that “little voice” in your head saying things like, “You could never be rich, you aren’t smart enough,” or perhaps, “no one in your family has ever been rich,” then listen carefully to those clues. These comments are a clue to your subconscious beliefs. Make a list of these comments so you can deal with them one at a time.
Along with the self-talk, pay attention to your “gut reaction”. If your stomach tightens up each time you say this, then that is another clue to a subconscious belief. Spend some time exploring what your “gut” is telling you about this affirmation. Is it fear or anxiety or something else? Put these emotions on the list also.
Make sure this affirmation is aligned with what you truly want.
The way to do this is to get to know your Authentic Spirit better. You need to know your true values, what is important to you, and what dreams are unique to you in order to create meaningful affirmations for your own unique self. Sometimes we are influenced by friends, family or society and are not really clear on what we want for ourselves. Many times we have old outdated affirmations that were true for us 20 years ago, but not today.
Example: I had a client who kept setting affirmations about creating a successful new business, but could not figure out why she wasn’t following through on what she said she wanted. After much work on values and how they have changed, she realized that since she retired from her very successful VP job, she had actually jumped right into a business opportunity because that is what she had always done—work, set goals, be successful. Now she realized that her Authentic Spirit was done with all that and had new priorities and goals—around volunteer work and making a difference. Once she stopped and really listened, and reconnected to her true self, she was able to re-align and become successful once again in a new way.
Remember to bring your affirmations back to yourself.
Many times we want things for other people. We hope by thinking positive we can change them. An affirmation must be about you, not about the world “out there”. You only have control over yourself.
In the example I used in the last blog, “My husband doesn’t drink or get angry.” You could change that affirmation to something that you need to work on for yourself around this issue. For example, “I remain calm and make empowered choices.”
You can change your own beliefs, your own behaviors, and your own perspective about what happens and then in turn, this will be reflected by your external reality.
In the next blog, Positive Affirmations: Lock them in with EFT (part 3), we will discuss the process for making affirmations believable and true for you and using the powerful yet simple tool of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to lock them into your subconscious in order to change your patterns of belief.